Timing Is Everything
by Nate Grey
Summary: Ron picks the worst time to ask Kim a question.  Or does he?  A oneshot sillyfic. Complete.


Notes: This came to me minutes after reading "The Power of Love" by Cyberwraith9. It was also around 7AM, and is currently my habit, I'd stayed up all night without even considering sleep. Maybe that means something, and maybe it doesn't. All I know is it's here now.

Summary: Ron picks the worst time to ask Kim a question. Or does he?

Warning: Kim and Ron may seem out of character. Bear in mind it's only done in the name of comedy in a desperate situation. A very, very desperate situation, indeed. It's meant to be silly.

**Timing Is Everything**

**A Kim Possible Ficlet by**

**Nate Grey (XMAN0123-at-aol-dot-com)**

Kim Possible's face was a mask of intense concentration as she stared down her latest foe: a small but still very deadly bomb. Her eyes narrowed as she leaned forward, feeling tiny droplets of sweat run down her skin as she carefully reached out to begin disarming the dangerous device.

So she was more than a bit annoyed (not to mention horrified) when a second, similarly gloved hand swiftly brushed hers aside.

"KP, we gotta talk," Ron stated out of the blue.

Kim raised incredulous, angry eyes up to her partner's frowning face. Finally, she took a deep, shuddering breath and asked, "Do you MIND?"

"As a matter of fact, I do!" Ron replied. "I'm trying to ask you a serious question, and you're not...HEY!" He knocked her hand away again as she tried to sneak in some work on the bomb. "You're not listening!"

Kim closed her eyes. "Ron, you're my best friend, and I love you. And because of that, I won't kill you. Yet." Her eyes snapped open. "Now shut up and let me save us, please!"

For a moment, Ron didn't answer. Then, without warning, he reached over and plucked the bomb out of her field of view.

"Hey!" Kim protested, even as Ron courageously, if not stupidly, dropped the bomb down his pants. "RON!" she cried in both disgust and terror.

"Now that I have your full attention," Ron said calmly, "I-"

Kim practically tackled him to the ground, tearing wildly at his cargo pants. "You idiot! Take those off right now!"

Ron couldn't help the grin that plastered itself on his face, but he quickly shoved it and Kim away. "KP, I'm serious! We need to...WOULD YOU STOP THAT!" He grabbed her wrists as she made another swipe at his pants.

"Ron, please!" Kim shrieked, breaking free and latching onto his pants again. Before he could stop her, she gave a mighty tug, and suddenly Ron's pants were twisted around his ankles, the bomb resting neatly between his knees. Completely ignoring his Godzilla boxers in favor of the bomb, Kim snatched it up and began to turn away, so the thought of what she'd just had to do wouldn't come crashing back into her brain as she dealt with the bomb.

Only Ron tackled HER this time, allowing the bomb to clatter noisily to the floor.

"You are GOING to LISTEN to ME!" Ron growled directly into her ear as he pressed his full weight on her back.

Kim ignored him, reaching desperately for the bomb. It was still within reach, if she could just stretch a bit...

And that was when Ron decided he'd had it. Having been Kim's best friend for most of his life, he knew certain things about her. Certain secret things that no other person alive or dead was privy to.

Such as that single, small area on the back of her neck (known to them simply as 'The Spot'), which, when directly stimulated, either by direct skin-to-skin contact or a strong puff of air, caused her entire body to melt into a helpless puddle of flesh and red hair. Never had he been forced to use The Spot against her, but this was important.

Ron brushed her thick ponytail aside, leaned in close, and blew on The Spot.

At once, all of Kim's internal systems seemed to shut down, and her body went limp beneath him. She knew instantly what had happened, and tears of frustration leaked out of the corners of her eyes. "Damn you, Ron Stoppable!" she hissed breathlessly.

"Let's talk, KP," Ron said amiably, resting his chin on her shoulder. "Or I'll talk, and you just answer when I do this." He prodded her shoulder with a finger. "See, I need to ask you this question."

"Please do," Kim muttered, recognizing she was trapped but good. "I just hope it's worth being blown to bits over."

Ron pretended not to her that part. "You know how we're going to the dance later on this week?" A quick prod to the shoulder followed.

"You mean assuming we DON'T get blown to bits?" she reminded him.

"Yeah, yeah. You know how we're going as two best friends on a non-date to avoid the usual date-related stress?" Another prod.

"Like we do every year, you mean?" Kim sighed.

"Uh huh." Ron paused, possibly for effect. "I was thinking we could try something different this year. Like maybe try going as two best friends with dates...that just happen to be each other." He could tell from the way Kim's body went stiff beneath him that his words had already hit her like a ton of bricks. "Anyway, that's what I wanted to ask you." Yet another prod.

"What?" Kim asked in a tiny voice.

Ron sat up and rolled her onto her back, so he could gaze into her big green eyes. "Kimberly Anne Possible," he said formally, taking her hand in his, "would you be my totally non-platonic date for the dance?"

"Ron," Kim whispered, her hand trembling as she reached up to touch his cheek.

He grinned and leaned into her touch...only to get a hard slap on the cheek. "OW! KP, what the heck-"

But Kim had slapped him again, and when he tried to stop her, he got a stiff punch to the jaw that left him reeling.

"What are you doing!" Ron shouted as she pinned him to the ground and straddled his chest.

"Looking for the mind control chip," Kim replied distractedly, feeling along his neck. "Or the Moodulator patch. Or the-"

"There isn't one!" Ron snapped. "KP, I'm totally free of outside influence right now! Would you just answer the question already!"

"Later. There's something else I have to do now," Kim murmured, slipping her hand behind his head.

Ron froze. The way Kim was looking at him just then... "Yeah?" he asked softly.

"You'll thank me later," she said with a smile...just before she smacked his head against the floor, knocking him out cold. "Sorry, Ron." Kim kissed two fingers and brushed them briefly against Ron's cheek before scrambling over to the bomb. Fortunately, it was the standard thirty-minute kind; Dr. Drakken was nothing if not consistent in allowing them plenty of chances to get away every time.

At least SOMEONE understood how they were supposed to act in mission mode...

* * *

Ron carefully fingered his slightly bruised head as he glanced over at Kim. Though she hadn't seemed to mind being forced to squeeze into the back of a tiny police car with him for the ride home, she hadn't said a word to him since he'd regained consciousness.

And she STILL hadn't answered his question, he realized suddenly.

"Ron," she said, staring out of the window. "Three things. One: if you EVER ask me a question like that at a time like that, they will NEVER find all of the pieces your body will be in. Two: if you ever use The Spot against me like that, they will NEVER find all of the pieces your body will be in. Three: yes."

"...yes, what?" Ron asked, earning a glower from Kim.

"You mean to tell me you nearly got us blown up, and you don't even remember what you asked? I didn't hit you that hard."

Realization washed over Ron. "Wait," he said excitedly. "You mean...yes? As in yes, yes? As in totally non-platonic dance date?"

"Maybe not totally," Kim muttered, "but yes."

"Oh yeah!" Ron cheered.

"Another thing. Keep the celebration of to yourself, please. I have a headache." Kim carefully rubbed the bridge of her nose.

"Feel free to rest said head right here, Red!" Ron volunteered, wiggling his shoulder at her.

With a faint smile, Kim laid her head on his shoulder. "Ron...how long have you felt this way?" she asked softly. "About me?"

"Honestly? First five minutes of meeting you."

"Pre-K?" Kim blinked in surprise. "And you never said anything?"

"KP, you told me that I was weird, but that you liked me, anyway. I figured I was pushing my luck as it was. I couldn't help it, really. Nobody wore the pigtails like you did."

Kim rolled her eyes. "Ron, EVERY girl with pigtails wore them like I did."

"They looked better on you," Ron insisted.

"And that's really more a compliment to my mom," Kim pointed out.

"The point is," Ron stated firmly, "it's just been building up ever since then."

"You really could've picked a better time, though," Kim sighed. "Like now, for instance."

"Are you kidding? It had to be then, KP," Ron replied. "It was all part of my master plan."

"One I'm sure you've been working on since Pre-K," Kim chuckled.

"How did you know?" Ron asked in obvious surprise.

Kim groaned. "You haven't edited it much over the years, have you?"

"Well, sure I did! Had to compensate for Drakken...Shego...you getting rid of the pigtails...all the missions...yeah, it's been through a lot of revision, actually."

"And yet it still seems like a plan you developed entirely in Pre-K."

"Hey, it worked," Ron noted with a smug smile.

"So then you knew I would knock you out?"

The smile faded. "I was hoping you'd just smack me once, so no."

Kim pinched his cheek. "Sorry. But you really did pick the worst time EVER to ask about changing our relationship."

"See, that's where you're wrong, KP," Ron declared with a crooked grin. "Timing is everything."

"Uh huh. And if you ever stuff a bomb down your pants again, Ronzilla, you're on your own."

The End.

* * *

And now, for something completely out of nowhere:

"I must confess, I do not understand the purpose of these undershorts, Ron-san," Yori said. "You are paying homage to this giant lizard somehow?"

Ron grinned down at her. "That's right, Yori. I'm paying the giant lizard homage…with MY giant lizard."

Yori stared at him blankly for a long moment. Finally, she replied, "I am not sure Rufus-san would appreciate such a title."

"Um…I think you're missing the point a bit, Yori."

"No," she said, pointing. "It is rather hard to miss, now."

Ron blushed. "So…how about some one-on-one?" He wiggled his eyebrows suggestively.

"Actually, Sensei thought it would be best if someone else took over your training this time." She stood up, went to the sliding screen door, and pulled it open. "Hiro-kun, if you would?"

Hirotaka stepped into the room, stopping short as he took in the sight of Ron in his boxers. "I am glad to see you are so…eager to being your training, Stoppable-san," he said slowly, "but I imagine THAT will only make this more difficult for the both of us."

Ron quickly pulled on his pants, for all the good it did to hide his 'excitement'. "Yeah. Sorry…"


End file.
